19 Juni 2016

Beau Taplin

"Show me the sum of your parts, the layers and layers beneath the lie, the mayhem and madness behind the mask - every dark, ugly truth you conceal underneath under that pretty, picture perfect front. Let down your guard and be ruthlessly yourself. I want you for your raw, whole honest heart." 
- Beau Taplin, Raw Honest Heart

"Do not call me perfect, a lie is never a compliment. Call me an erratic damaged and insecure mess. Then tell me that you love me for it." 
- Beau Taplin, You're a Fucking Wreck and I Love You for It

17 April 2016

Rivers and Roads

This weekend I went out with a good friend of mine during high school years, a bali-java-nese girl named Ayu. The last time we met was about two years ago I guess since she was never in town when I got back to Semarang. We were visiting Cimory Riverside Restaurant and talking a lot things about our perspective towards quarter life (a typical 20s girl huh) and surprisingly we both have a similar idea, then we found out that we read the same thing lol (an internet page I don't like to share about).

Ayu told me that she is sad to be separated with her university friends since they are placed all around Indonesia when she is placed in Jakarta. And I was like... What?! How could you being sad of not meeting them in a daily basis again? Lol I personally fine with that since my close friends can be counted by fingers and we are still meeting even if we're tired of work. Well, Ayu is clearly have a lot more close friends than me. Yes sometimes we realize the journey we've been taking has reached its final stop. And the problem is where do we go next?

The Head and The Heart - Rivers and Roads

A year from now we'll all be gone
All our friends will move away
And they're goin' to better places
But our friends will be gone away

Nothin' is as it has been
And I miss your face like hell
And I guess it's just as well
But I miss your face like hell

Been talkin' 'bout the way things change
And my family lives in a different state
If you don't know what to make of this
Then we will not relate
So if you don't know what to make of this
Then we will not relate

Rivers and roads
Rivers and roads
Rivers 'til I reach you

Such a sad song which remind us about someone on the past.

03 April 2016

Biasa Bajak, Kini (Mencoba) Bayar

Apa hal yang kamu tau bahwa itu salah namun tetap kamu lakukan?

Jawabannya banyak sih dan salah satunya adalah mendownload dan mendengarkan lagu bajakan. Dasar manusia maunya yang gratisan aja tanpa keluar banyak uang. Terakhir kali aku membayar untuk mendengarkan lagu kalau nggak salah awal-awal SMP. Aku beli kaset album terbarunya Backstreet Boys yang pada saat itu judulnya Never Gone (karena suka sekali dengan lagu-lagu mereka sejak SD, jadi aku bela-belain beli). Waktu itu aku masih bisa mendengarkan lagu pakai walkman, ahaha! Astaga udah lama banget.

Selain mendengar lagu bajakan, menonton film bajakan juga salah satu dosa lain yang sering aku lakukan. Tapi sejak lulus kuliah, aku semakin jarang bertemu dengan teman-teman untuk copy film bajakan dan lebih memilih untuk sewa film dan streaming secara legal di Google Film, biayanya lumayan terjangkau sekitar 19000-25000 rupiah. Metode pembayarannya bisa via pulsa XL dan Telkomsel (kurang tahu bagaimana dengan provider lain). Cuma sayangnya kurang lengkap huhu, dan baru ada film-film hollywood, padahal aku juga mau nonton film Indonesia.

Beberapa contoh bukti pembayaran via pulsa waktu aku nonton via Google Film (yayaya aku dan sepupu2 suka film horor)

Nah baru-baru ini ada aplikasi streaming dan download musik legal asal Swedia yang lagi ngehits karena baru launching di Indonesia minggu lalu, namanya Spotify. Spotify bisa diakses tanpa biaya untuk streaming lagu-lagu, tapi bisa juga diakses dengan biaya langganan sebesar 50rb/ bulan untuk akun premiumnya (tidak hanya streaming, namun bisa download lagu). Berhubung aplikasi ini baru banget muncul di Indonesia, kita bisa nikmatin layanan premiumnya secara gratis selama 30 hari pertama. Aku jadi penasaran dan ikutan install.

user interfacenya cantik

Beberapa lagu dalam list lagu yang aku download

Kalau menurut review yang aku baca di media online, tarif yang dipatok Spotify terbilang jauh lebih murah dibanding aplikasi sejenis seperti Joox, MelOn, Deezer, dll. Terlebih lagi, koleksi lagunya juga lebih lengkap. Aku heran juga sampai lagu Burung dalam Sangkar ada di Spotify dan Youtuber Working With Lemons ada di Spotify ahaha!

Anyway, kalau mau baca info lain mengenai Spotify dan tarifnya bisa cek di;

Yha memang seharusnya kita menghargai karya orang lain, termasuk lagu-lagu dan film sih. Kalau aku bikin karya dengan susah payah, lalu banyak orang menikmati tanpa mau membayar pasti sedih dan kesel juga. Walaupun belum bisa 100% menghindarkan diri dari pembajakan, boleh deh yuk mulai dikit-dikit deh bayar apa yang seharusnya memang kita bayar.

09 Maret 2016

Wedding and Marriage

I am looking back to this post when I was eating roti bakar cokelat keju in Bara at around 10 pm with them. The post was really sentimental actually because one of my friend was turning 20, and those conversation about thesis and work after university with some of my seniors. The idea of quarter life is already scare me since 3 years ago wow great. I am also surfing into this post, back when I attended my seniors' graduation event and suddenly these people (Kak Nana and Kak Toni) were getting married!

Back in 2011, I saw Kak Toni as a childish guy and Kak Nana as a really mature girl. But I never imagine them standing together in the altar. When I hear the news, I was beyond happy for them! Although I felt sorry for Kak Nana's biggest admirer for years, Masjaw ahaha. Still can't believe that they are just one year older than me and already brave enough to step on their own way.

cute invitation they made by themselves

yay for finally reunited in almost full team

puk puk Masjaw

Back in university, I used to take Pengantar Ekonomi Keluarga, Gender dan Keluarga and Manajemen Keuangan Konsumen. Yes, those three subjects was not from my major department. It is from Ilmu Keluarga dan Konsumen (weird major I know lol but it helps us see from another perspective). For me personally right now, marriage is a really big deal life commitment. It is not a fairy tale. You need to discuss wether you want the same thing or not.

Such as...

Is it okay if one of them (wife/ husband) will be working outside the house in a not so friendly time like shift work, long business trip, etc? Is it okay if the main breadwinner focused on his/her career and just have a little time for the family?

Do you both agree to have a me-time? Is one of you be able to spend his/her time alone, watching concert with friends or maybe go on a solo travelling for few days?

Will the husband help the wife do the domestic work such as washing the dishes and clothes, or maybe cooking for breakfast? Will the husband make his own coffee if he wants it? (My Dad washes our family clothes, he makes his own coffee and he doesn't mind to do others domestic work on a daily basis, so I am bit shocked when I know not all Dad did the same thing.)

Who is responsible for what, like who will pay these bills, who will pay for another bills. How will you manage your financial in a marriage?  

Will you let your spouse's parents to live in the same house with you? Will you be okay if your spouse support his family financially in a long term, like paying for his brother or sister's tuition fee which is really cost a lot of money? You may say it is ok right now, but don't you dare to talk behind his back to your friends later.

Do you both need an insurance? Do you both agree to do an investment, if yes, in what instrument(s)? Do you already aware that you need to prepare a saving to buy a house, maternity, children's education, etc.

And the scariest one is... is it okay if you can't have kids?

My biggest worry is if I get a husband who force me to have our own biological kid(s). I mean, yes I do want kids and would try anything to make it happen later on, but I don't think it is a mandatory in marriage. If so, he'll just leave me after years of marriage of not having any biological baby yet. I am not gonna marry a man who value myself as a baby machine. Worst nightmare ever.

Lily: What if I can’t have a baby? That… could happen. I could totally let you down. Has that thought not occurred to you?
 Not even for one second. Not having a baby would suck… but the idea of you letting me down? That’s impossible.
How I Met Your Mother - Season 6, Episode 1 - “Bad Days”

14 Februari 2016


When anyone said that they love me, whether it is platonic or romantically, I usually wonder. I am afraid that someday they will see me the way I see myself. I feel like I do not deserve their kindness and love.

You know it is not hard to fall in love with people when you see them in a good terms. 

You see them happy, enjoying their day, laughing and joking around. You see them caring for anyone else. You see them being grateful for the way they are.

But, you gotta admit that everyone has a yin in a yang, and vice versa.

What if you see them sad, cursing their day, crying and bitching around? You will see them being ignorant towards their circumstances. You will see them being ungrateful moron during their suffered time.

This is makes me worry. Will they still love me when they know that I am such a mess and terrible person?